Nathan Lee-Archer
The story of ME
For as long as I could remember there was always a sense that something wrong or missing from the core of who I was.
This pain drove an endless pursuit (obsession) for completion as well as compelling behaviours to cover up that unease for fear of judgement.
No matter what I did, the hours of mediation, how fit or sculpted my body was, the successes I achieved in life, the studies of therapies, theories, or techniques, the relationships, the drugs - nothing filled this hole and delivered me to the promised land of fulfilment and peace.
At best all these pursuits would provide temporary, fleeting relief – with the seeking energy always returning, never satisfied, a bottomless cup that could not be filled.
This obsession would even cost me my mental and physical health – yet even when life pressed the reset button, the old and familiar programming would take over, focusing on the creation of a perfect image of myself in a desperate attempt for stability and happiness.
Even though this pathway of obtainment had previously failed so many times to bear long-lasting fruit – the hope remained that all the suffering, discipline and commitment would eventually validate my entry to an awakened, whole state.
Through sheer exhaustion or desperation, there was a surrender and the focus shifted, directing inversely - no longer was I trying to develop myself, but it was to deconstruct.
Beyond all the layers of stories, the mystery and embrace of this moment always shone - and gradually the language of life revealed itself to be heard and harmonised with.
There is now an effortlessness and flow to life that is free from want - a reality that can only be experienced, and longed to be shared with you.
For as long as I could remember there was always a sense that something wrong or missing from the core of who I was.
This pain drove an endless pursuit (obsession) for completion as well as compelling behaviours to cover up that unease for fear of judgement.
No matter what I did, the hours of mediation, how fit or sculpted my body was, the successes I achieved in life, the studies of therapies, theories, or techniques, the relationships, the drugs - nothing filled this hole and delivered me to the promised land of fulfilment and peace.
At best all these pursuits would provide temporary, fleeting relief – with the seeking energy always returning, never satisfied, a bottomless cup that could not be filled.
This obsession would even cost me my mental and physical health – yet even when life pressed the reset button, the old and familiar programming would take over, focusing on the creation of a perfect image of myself in a desperate attempt for stability and happiness.
Even though this pathway of obtainment had previously failed so many times to bear long-lasting fruit – the hope remained that all the suffering, discipline and commitment would eventually validate my entry to an awakened, whole state.
Through sheer exhaustion or desperation, there was a surrender and the focus shifted, directing inversely - no longer was I trying to develop myself, but it was to deconstruct.
Beyond all the layers of stories, the mystery and embrace of this moment always shone - and gradually the language of life revealed itself to be heard and harmonised with.
There is now an effortlessness and flow to life that is free from want - a reality that can only be experienced, and longed to be shared with you.
